Christmas Update 2017

Four years of clever and ridiculous Christmas updates left until I am an empty nester.  The time is ticking away as fast as the speed of light and I'm holding onto every moment I can.  

Here are the juicy bits:

Cole is a junior at Hakuna Matata High School, a school where Toyotas, vaping, dancing hula and surf squad trump academics.  Apparently all the beatings have paid off as he's developed into a very fine young man full of piss and kombucha.  Late or otherwise absent appearances have been replaced with teachers pet status, honors Chemistry and a front row parking spot. Complaining, soapless showers and the perma-sulks have also been replaced with A's and B's and a desire to go to college.  College!!!?  I don't know how I'll break it to him his college account was spent on ski vacations and dyeing my hair blonde.  Sorry kid.  Good thing he has a bright future in video gaming. #playstation4life #blondesdonthavemorefun

He still has long hair that is a mystery.  More on that later.  

Cole prefers a two foot space between us at all times, especially when sitting on the couch.  Also he has instructed me to not walk too close to him in public because, "people think we are couple and I might throw up."  I still sneak in a peck on his cheek every morning and noticed he now has 17 whiskers on his chin.  I have 18 therefore I win.  #manface

Sigh.

Cole has a truck.  

Not a hot wheel but a real live Toyota truck.  After replacing the alternator, starter, blinker fluid, wipers, belts of all kind and adding sub-woofers, speakers, and rainbow LED foot lights (per Little sister request,) he realized car ownership wasn't all that it was cracked up to be.  It didn't bring a girlfriend like he was promised and his wallet is now much thinner.  Nonetheless, he has heaps of new, non-driving, non-gas paying friends to show for his hard work. Happy for you kid.  Now go to the grocery store.  

#toyota4eva

After having braces for close to 12 years, (they won't take them off until you pay them off.) Demi finally got them removed.  We can now embrace this young lady without fear of losing an eye or perhaps an entire paycheck. (I'm starting the dental fund now for my unborn fetal grandchildren.)   Not sure if dentistry is science-based anymore or just "we want all your money" based.  Nonetheless she's a stunner and even though I offered the entitled dentist more moo-lah to keep them on longer, he refused.  I hope Cole is ready for boxing classes.

#stayawayboys

I recently asked Demi if she wanted a yearbook and she replied, "I want no memory of middle school."  I guess middle school still sucks and every 14 year old girl is vulnerable to the disdain it most certainly brings.

#middleschoolblues

Demi decided (based solely on watching Japanese Anime) that marrying a Japanese ninja and eating ramen was her life dream.  Then she realized after many hours of googling Japanese men that most were NOT in fact Blonde with big muscles.  They were more "hey go make me some ramen and be my geisha" so she went back to a life of celibacy and reading "50 Shades of Middle School Boys."  Back to the drawing board my love.  Better luck next time.  

#asianpersuasianisntthatstrong

I am still slinging timeshare and photography. 

This year I actually made a living; Enough to get off food stamps and fly across the globe to the beautiful city of Paris!  (Demi, that actually came out of YOUR non existent college fund!). Growing up my travels consisted of frequent station wagon rides, hiking, camping and hoping to catch a glimpse of a black person, so this was pretty exciting!  (Enjoying the diversity of Oregon was, well, lacking.)  Despite what everyone said about the French, they were rude and smoked like chimneys.  Their palaces were amazing and their French fries were to die for, however The Mona Lisa was smaller than I thought it would be, and annoyingly enough the entire country seemed to speak English.  I also got called a bitch and was made fun of for being from the U.S. 

#ididntvoteforhim 

With tiny houses and Essentialism being the in-thing these days, I decided to pose a challenge to the kids.  "How tiny can we go?"  We decided that 450 square ft was PLENTY for three people to live in along with the sizable attitudes and egos that go along with it.  If you want to learn how to TRULY live In the moment and with just the necessities, Just swing by our shoebox and we will show you the way.  The diversity in nothingness is incredibly exciting.  We dare you to give it a whirl.

#smallspacesbutbiglove #sorrycostco #nocartrule

In the spirit of honesty, I urge you to pause, take a deep breath, love the one your with, enjoy your good health if you have it, have compassion for the folks who don't, and live like today will be your last.

Auvoir and Aloha,

Stephanie 

Enjoy the oncoming barrage of shameless selfies, transgendered-style makeup, showpony posing and my hot boyfriend.  #sorrynotsorry #hopeyoumadeitinthisyearsphotos

 

p.s. See if you notice a theme in this diatribe....... if you pay any attention to politics you will! 

 

 

 

 

 

Do Less Gain More Parenting

You may be asking yourself, "why is my kid so bratty and whiny?  Why the tantrums?"

Maybe you should let them play a little more.  With a little less Mom sprinkled in there....

What might happen if we give our children the room to roam and develop without us hovering over their every move?

They might grow.  And be confident.  Be independent, critical thinkers WHO CAN SOLVE THE WORLD'S PROBLEMS without Mommy watching and telling them how to do it. 

Let them climb that tree.  (Keep your terrorizing fear to yourself, Mom.) 

Let them jump off that rock.  (Seeee Mommy!  I knew I could do it!!!) 

Let them order their own food and speak to the waitress without being corrected.  (I'm a big girl Mommy, I did it all by myself!) 

Teach them clear boundaries.  Let them learn that life isn't easy and we are here to help prepare them every step of the way.  Without getting in the way of course.  

2 Best Post-Pregnancy Tips

I wanted to talk about something that's really popular in our society.  It's losing weight after having a baby in record time and then posting about it.  #shitty #whyareyoustillfat #sixpackbackinweeks #wtf 

Don't feel pressure to lose weight right away.  We need to take care of ourselves and our new babies and soak in every moment.  Do not fall prey to social media pressure to look a certain way in a certain amount of time.  Listen to your body!  

 

Here is the stunning Brittany Gori from www.tobcandid.com 

And with a cherry on top...  what a beauty!  Glowing! 

And with a cherry on top...  what a beauty!  Glowing! 

Two of my favorite things:  Beautiful shiny package from Forever 21, and a totally gorgeous shoot with one of my best subjects!  (How pretty was this shoot??!!)

Check out Brittany Gori's blog and stunning website.  LOVE HER.  Great fashion AND she's due with twins any minute. 

Best of luck to her and her cute firefighter hubby!

You can see more of our shoot HERE. 

Check out these adorable and affordable sandal options at Forever21.com

Fear Snuck In

I was going to film a video about this, but my camera on my iMac isn't working and honestly I'm not sure I could talk about this on camera.

It's fear.

Something happened at yoga today that has never happened to me.  An all encompassing feeling of fear started bubbling up.  It was surrounding me like black smoke.  I almost broke down in tears.  In this moment the things that were coming up were:

What if the kids don't think I'm a good mom?

What if I can't make it in Timeshare?  What if I can't sell?

Does he love me?  What if I'm not good enough for him?

Am I crazy?  Who do I think I am for posting things online like some kind of guru?

Just WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STEPHANIE?

It was an awful deafening sound of SILENCE.  Just me and my own thoughts.

Stephanie, what IF you aren't a good Mom?  Then what?  (Your kids won't love you and appreciate you.  You won't feel GOOD ENOUGH.)

Stephanie, what IF you can't make it timeshare?  Then what?  (I can't provide for my children which will mean I'm not GOOD ENOUGH.) 

And MAYBE he doesn't love me.  So?  And?  (You weren't GOOD ENOUGH.) 

What did all of these have in common as I was sweating in an inferno room with a bunch of other yogis?  All I really wanted to do was crawl into a ball and well, bawl.

They all had something in common.  My ultimate fear was rising.  My fear that I simply, AM NOT ENOUGH.  

THAT I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH.  

Is this rational?  No.  Does it make sense? Sort of.  Remember when I spoke of being vulnerable and how scary it is?  I'm being really vulnerable with the people around me.  I'm letting it "all hang out."  It's scary as FUCK.  I'm terrified that with all the energy and the effort I put into this life it still WON'T BE ENOUGH.

So what?

What does that really mean?  It means I'm HUMAN.  God forbid I make mistakes.  Where in this life did I decide being human was bad?  Where in this life did someone take away my self worth, self esteem?  Maybe its a fear that lies in every single one of us and it's not something that was "planted" by anyone.

Let's say I'm not enough for some reason.  Let's say I failed at something because I wasn't good enough.  Guess what?  OH WELL.  Shit happens.  You live and your learn.  I can't be the best at everything and the winner for all contests.  It's ok to not be enough sometimes.  It's ok if I try and I fail.  How can we succeed or fall in love or feel accomplishment without at least trying?

At the end of the day I must remind myself, 

I AM ENOUGH.

I AM GOOD ENOUGH.

Even I struggle with my limiting beliefs.  And this one my friends, is a big one.  I have to dig deep.  I know this feeling is fleeting.  But instead of burying it or blocking it I'm shouting it out loud.

I AM GOOD AND I LOVE MYSELF AND I DO MY BEST.

Repeat after me.  

I.

AM.

ENOUGH..

I wish my loved ones and most important people read my blog.  

I wish my loved ones and most important people read my blog.  

A Bikini Once A Week

Stay focused by tracking your progress....  IN A BIKINI!!!  

From a few years back.......This is an 8 week example of clean eating and lifting.  I still ate pizza and beer once a week.  :) (But I was also told I was boring because I stopped going out with friends because I didn't want to be tempted by cocktails and bar food hahaha.) 

My goals are different now, but this just shows you its fun to track your progress with photos.  And since I live in Hawaii it may as well be in a bikini.  

Notice the biggest changes were around week 4 and 5.  Most people quit around week 3.....

8 week focused progression

8 week focused progression

Be of Service.

 

Every time I get overwhelmed, sad, or just down in this life, I reach out to help someone else in need.  

BE OF SERVICE.

The best way to overcome those feelings is to serve others.

Don't think life is going your way?  Feeling like others have "more" than you?  

This is a conversation I have to have with the kids a lot.  

"Why does so and so have a new truck?  Why do they get to go skiing every year?"  The list goes on.  

One thing I like to remind the kids is, we all have our own story and our own journey.  That's just not our story for right now and that's ok.  You are your own hero in your own tale.  

Go help someone.  Get out of your head and get into someone else's.  It's amazing what it feels like to give to someone in need.  Immediate lifter of spirits!  Do it.  I dare you!  

Recently I volunteered myself and the kids to assist with an amazing program called Skate MD.  A non profit skateboard clinic to help special needs children learn to skate.  The kids complained the entire morning leading up to it.  Rain or shine, we showed up and it was amazing.  

Well done kids.