Holiday Outtakes and the TRUTH.

This post is supposed to be a "holiday" theme for a Facebook photo group I'm linked up to.  It was even MY suggestion that it be "holiday" themed.  I wanted mine to be all pretty with trees, bows and stockings.  It didn't turn out that way.  Instead this week I've been a referee, a therapist, a mom, a teacher AND a student.  It seems our move to California and Cole's newfound popularity along with his hormones shifting have all happened at once.  (Sorry Cole, I know that's TMI.)  But it's true.  Life has thrown us many challenges the past two years.  A divorce, two dogs disappeared, two big moves including one to the mainland (and tears about missing cousins on a daily basis) and a Dad who isn't here most of the time.  Oh, let's not forget a cancer diagnosis that is terminal.  

Life has been hard.  Sometimes I'm lonely.  Sometimes I want adult conversation that doesn't include the words "cool" and "sick" or "Mom, that's so 90's."  Sometimes we can't afford food and I don't know how we are going to make it most months.  (Gasp.  I said it.)  I don't let on to the kids.  I just curb their attention to other things.  Like the roof over our head.  And the food that is on the table.  (Hopefully it's there next month)  There's been a lot of yelling.  A lot of tears.  A lot of arguing.  Pep talk after pep talk.   

"We are a team."

"We can do this."

That's what I say.  Because I don't know what else to say.  Even in the worst of times, I am so HAPPY and feel incredibly BLESSED that my kids are alive, present, NORMAL.  So in spite of my heart breaking on days like lately, I know, everything is going to be okay.   

Yesterday you saw our "happy" Christmas card facade.  

Here's what really is happening.  Fake smiles.  Belly laughs.  Forced cuddling.  I guess that is what Family is all about.  Christmas and the holidays aren't about presents.  It's about FAMILY.  And being TOGETHER.

So go hug your kids.  Your friends.  Or maybe go talk to someone you don't even know.  Because maybe they need adult conversation.  

I dedicate this post to the 26 souls who will not be here this holiday in Connecticut.  Peace be with you.


Make sure you go check out my UBER-talented sister in law Wendy Laurel's blog HERE.  

Let the outtakes begin!