I received a text from a lifelong friend who was at her wit's end with her two year old recently. Her friends don't seem to understand. Their sweet and innocent children don't throw tantrums, aren't back-peddaling with potty training and haven't turned into little pea-soup spewing, head-spinning aliens. (Liars.) Not to mention she's pregnant.
Oh dear, did the memories come rushing back.....
Spitting. Hair pulling. Pinching. Stiffening of the back. Getting in a car seat? Forget about it. I forgot slapping too.
Cole got kicked out of KinderGym for being too physical. (The place had a foam pit and padded walls. HELLLOOO??????)
He was in time out EVERYDAY at preschool.
Kindergarten was spent in the principals office. A LOT.
This is when I started researching things like "ADHD" and "The High Spirited Child" and of course "To Spank or Not to Spank."
Demi? That is it's own blog post in itself. Let's just say her nickname was "Demolition Demi."
The list goes on people.
A million blog posts have been written about this same topic so I'm not going to beat a dead horse. However..... I am going to briefly touch on ONE thing here. It's about us parents. My heart went out to my dear friend who sent me that text. You know why?
She feels alone.
And she's not.
So instead of us Mom's shrugging our shoulders because "our child would never do that" why don't we embrace this Mom and be there for her? Too many times as a very young Mother I questioned my abilities as a parent because my kid seemed abnormal and what was I doing wrong? I wasn't doing anything wrong.
I just didn't have any friends.
Feeling alone is a horrible feeling, especially when staying at home with kids. No one gives you a "gold star" for getting the laundry done, cooking dinner, managing a shower and teaching your toddler to pee in the toilet. My Mom has always said, "It's the hardest job in the world." And it is. So Moms...... HELP each other. Listen to each other. Be there. This isn't contest. No one really cares that your baby can sit in a saucer at three months old and mine can't.
To my single parents out there? I love you. There's a special place in Heaven for you.
It truly takes a village.
And when you see someone's kid on the ground having a hissy fit at the bank, don't stare, offer to open the door or give a warm smile. No judging.
p.s. Thank GOD my kids were crazy toddlers. You know why? At 10 and 12 they are articulate, outgoing, social, intelligent people who I know will make it in this world.
(Even though it made me go grey super young, and I'm pretty sure my nose has been kneed and elbowed a million times, OH and they are STILL in my bed.)
This post is for Shawna, Mariah, Kerri and Suzanne. :)