Haters Gonna Hate

This weekend I had one of those jaw dropping moments.  And it wasn't a good one.

Here was the setting:

Black tie event.  The Reality show I'm sort of on was filming.  Most of the cast was there.  I felt good.  In fact, I didn't feel good, I felt GREAT.  I felt like I looked my best, was in attendance with one of my bff's, and was excited to be out of the house and in a fancy Easter-y dress.

After telling a certain fellow bikini/fitness competitor how wonderful I thought they looked, a bunch of us headed up to a hotel room to a pre-party.

Socializing, having fun, laughing, men and women around, and then a BOMB is dropped on me.

Fellow bikini competitor:

"Can I give you a little piece of advice?"


Before I can say "no you can't" she blurts out (in front of PLENTY of men to hear),

"Why are you doing a contest so soon?  You aren't stage ready.  You really need to put on more muscle before you get on stage."

Eyes well up.  Fake eyelashes are struggling to dam up the tears.  Don't blink Stephanie.  They might fall out.  At that moment a MILLION things went thru my mind.  Why is this person putting me on the spot?  OMG everyone is staring and wanting a reaction from me.  

WHAT THE EFF????!!!!!!

"Um..... well, the original plan was......" and I say something stupid.

Heart racing.  Mad.  

It seemed as though this person just took the last four months of my hard work away, in one sentence.  And why?

I stammered with my speech.  

"I have a bad back, so it's hard for me, and I'm really just a Mom.  It's not like I actually care about these things."

Lie.  I do care.  But I do have a bad back.  And I did get sick right before my contest.  I knew I didn't look as good as the other competitors.  


Breathe.  Get breathing under control.  Don't blink.  Smile.  Be polite.  

Run away as fast as you can Stephanie.  Where is your friend???!!!  What is WRONG with people?  I just got done building this person up ON CAMERA and telling them how awesome they looked and they do this to me?  

Many years ago on Maui, a wonderful therapist told me this:  "What others think you is none of your business" and she also said "there is no such thing as constructive criticism, it's just called criticism."  Thank you Carolyn Jackson.  

And thank you jealous, troll of a woman, for revealing yourself to me.  I now know your true colors.  I won't change myself or give explanations as to WHY I'm not up to your standards, or defend myself.  HOWEVER, with that being said I have a new rule:

No, you cannot give me advice.  I will seek advice from the proper guide when needed.

AND.  Next time you think you know someone's story, maybe take a minute to really learn, because you usually DON'T know their story, and are basing your opinions and judgements from hearsay and what you are seeing from the outside in.


I think I look really good.  If you don't think so, then bug off.  I don't want to hear it.