The 2nd 40 Days Without Kids

Last blog post was tragic instead of funny and sprinkled with gold and sparkles.  For that I am sorry. Actually I'm not.  I won't pretend.  It's hard with the kids so far away. No sense in pretending life is perfect.  

It's perfectly flawed.  

Because I like bullet points and lists, here is a list of things I accomplished over the last 80 days.  From least exciting to most thrilling.

Totaled my car.  (NEVER look for lipstick in a moving car around other moving cars.) 

Concussion?  Check.  Whiplash?  Check.  Did the gecko from Geico help me out?  No.  

  • Hung out with my cat.  Alone.  Considered having her made into a rug.
  • Decided starting the day at the gym at the crack of dawn is STILL and ALWAYS a good idea.
  • Cried.  
  • Learned that I am color blind and what is pink to me is not to other people.  (This whole time white has been pink to me and maybe my entire life in color has been fraudulent.) 
  • Bummed my Beaver fur hat from Park City is not pink but in fact white.  (WTF) 
  • Laughed.
  • Shocked.  Dismayed.  My faux fur jacket isn't pink either.  Faux pink.  Ugh.
  • (Maybe I'm perfect and the rest of y'all just don't see life in shades of rose like me...) 
  • Attended my first baseball game!!!!  (Did not eat peanuts.  Nobu sufficed.  Thank you John & Antony.) 

How on earth did the entire franchise of this team know I was coming AND paint my initials on the wall of a fancy box?  Amazing.

  • Heard someone making fun of people whose LinkedIn profile photos are car selfies.  Ran straight for a blazer and journalist haircut and threw my camera at one of our personal bankers at the bank.  Yay for professionalism via peer pressure!  (And no, I refuse to dress like Janet Reno to be good at my job.) 
 Blonde AND red hot nails.  Snapppppppp!  Zero retouching folks..... those wrinkles are real!  

Blonde AND red hot nails.  Snapppppppp!  Zero retouching folks..... those wrinkles are real!  

  • GOT A LETTER IN THE MAIL FROM MY KID!!!!  YAY DEMI!!!!
  • Taught a 4th grade class about Entrepreneurship.  The only true way to a captive audience...be a dentist or a teacher.  Preferably dentist.  More money, less backtalk.
 Can you imagine me as a teacher?  I have as much patience as a child on Christmas morning. 

Can you imagine me as a teacher?  I have as much patience as a child on Christmas morning. 

  • Baked an enormous amount.  Gave it all away. 
  • Started my own teen girl mentor group, yet to be named.  (I am a great public speaker and am confident and comfortable.  Speaking in front of 10 teen girls?  Terrifying.) 
  • Remembered teens have the attention span of a toddler.  (Less Confucius, more T-Swift.  Namaste!) 
  • Realized that helping others is the true way to happiness and fulfillment.  
  • Became an ambassador for the San Diego Film Festival.  (Please become a VIP Member so you can enjoy all the benefits namely hanging with people like me.) 
  • Accepted that milk sometimes spills.  The time spent making sure it doesn't spill doesn't prevent it.  It spilled.  No use crying over it.
  • Decided I'm kind of awesome.  You wanna hang out?  Better bring your A-game......